These Are My Ten Commandments Of Living A Good Life
Jerrico Usher,
The Laws of My
Existence!
(and the secret to my success)
Several years ago I was a lost soul with no idea how to find myself or to even control my world, and then I picked up a book by Dr. Phil called "Life Strategies" that changed everything. This book is like the updated version of the laws the Ten Commandments in the bible were trying to teach people but more modern and explained in more detail.
This is a wonderful book and although I know Dr. Phil didn't invent this stuff, it doesn't matter, he did his homework and has articulated the Laws of life in such a way that it crystallized everything for me and today I live free, liberated from the spell most sheeple are still in and I control my life completely.
I would advise anyone who truly wants to understand how I tick to pick up this book (but mainly so you can learn how life really is and how to regain your world). I live by these laws because they make perfect sense and I've tested every single one out in real time and have found peace time and time again!!
Below is a synopsis of the book (I found this online on someone’s site but it's the exact description of the ten life laws on the back of the book). The book itself breaks each of these laws down in layman’s terms and in some great entertaining detail. He uses a lot of great metaphors that anyone could understand. He took complex concepts and made them simple essentially. He doesn't say think positive, he shows you what thinking positive does, how to find that positive side of yourself, and breaks down every piece of the puzzle.. It’s truly an extraordinary book. So without further babbling here are the Life laws that I live by and expect others to live by who want to be in my circle. I'm all for being yourself, but these aren't laws that in any way dictate who you are, they are simple awareness’s of true reality.
The Brilliant Life laws …
… That explain the ten commandments better.. :~) Life Law 1: You either get it or you don't.
Strategy: Become one of those who gets it.
It's easy to tell these people apart. Those who "get it" understand how things work and have a strategy to create the results they want. Those who don't are stumbling along looking puzzled, and can be found complaining that they never seem to get a break.
You must do what it takes to accumulate enough knowledge to "get it." You need to operate with the information and skills that are necessary to win. Be prepared, tune in, find out how the game is played and play by the rules.
In designing a strategy and getting the information you need — about yourself, people you encounter, or situations — be careful from whom you accept input. Wrong thinking and misinformation can seal your fate before you even begin.
Life Law 2: You create your own experience.
Strategy: Acknowledge and accept accountability for your life. Understand your role in creating results.
You cannot dodge responsibility for how and why your life is the way it is. If you don't like your job, you are accountable. If you are overweight, you are accountable. If you are not happy, you are accountable. You are creating the situations you are in and the emotions that flow from those situations.
Don't play the role of victim, or use past events to build excuses. It guarantees you no progress, no healing, and no victory. You will never fix a problem by blaming someone else. Whether the cards you've been dealt are good or bad, you're in charge of yourself now.
Every choice you make — including the thoughts you think — has consequences. When you choose the behavior or thought, you choose the consequences. If you choose to stay with a destructive partner, then you choose the consequences of pain and suffering. If you choose thoughts contaminated with anger and bitterness, then you will create an experience of alienation and hostility. When you start choosing the right behavior and thoughts — which will take a lot of discipline — you'll get the right consequences.
Life Law 3: People do what works.
Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others.
Even the most destructive behaviors have a payoff. If you did not perceive the behavior in question to generate some value to you, you would not do it. If you want to stop behaving in a certain way, you've got to stop "paying yourself off" for doing it.
Find and control the payoffs, because you can't stop a behavior until you recognize what you are gaining from it. Payoffs can be as simple as money gained by going to work to psychological payoffs of acceptance, approval, praise, love or companionship. It is possible that you are feeding off unhealthy, addictive and imprisoning payoffs, such as self-punishment or distorted self-importance.
Be alert to the possibility that your behavior is controlled by fear of rejection. It's easier not to change. Try something new or put yourself on the line. Also consider if your need for immediate gratification creates an appetite for a small payoff now rather than a large payoff later.
Life Law 4: You cannot change what you do not acknowledge.
Strategy: Get real with yourself about life and everybody in it. Be truthful about what isn't working in your life. Stop making excuses and start making results.
If you're unwilling or unable to identify and consciously acknowledge your negative behaviors, characteristics or life patterns, then you will not change them. (In fact, they will only grow worse and become more entrenched in your life.) You've got to face it to replace it.
Acknowledgment means slapping yourself in the face with the brutal reality, admitting that you are getting payoffs for what you are doing, and giving yourself a no-kidding, bottom-line truthful confrontation. You cannot afford the luxury of lies, denial or defensiveness.
Where are you now? If you hope to have a winning life strategy, you have to be honest about where your life is right now. Your life is not too bad to fix and it's not too late to fix it. But be honest about what needs fixing. If you lie to yourself about any dimension of your life, an otherwise sound strategy will be compromised.
Life Law 5: Life rewards action.
Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger. Learn that the world couldn't care less about thoughts without actions.
Talk is cheap. It's what you do that determines the script of your life. Translate your insights, understandings and awareness into purposeful, meaningful, constructive actions. They are of no value until then. Measure yourself and others based on results — not intentions or words.
Use any pain you have to propel you out of the situation you are in and to get you where you want to be. The same pain that burdens you now could be turned to your advantage. It may be the very motivation you need to change your life.
Decide that you are worth the risk of taking action, and that your dreams are not to be sold out. Know that putting yourself at risk may be scary, but it will be worth it. You must leave behind the comfortable and familiar if you are to move onward and upward.
Life Law 6: There is no reality, only perception.
Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world. Acknowledge your history without being controlled by it.
You know and experience this world only through the perceptions that you create. You have the ability to choose how you perceive any event in your life, and you exercise this power of choice in every circumstance, every day of your life. No matter what the situation, you choose your reaction, assigning meaning and value to an event.
We all view the world through individual filters, which influence the interpretations we give events, how we respond, and how we are responded to. Be aware of the factors that influence the way you see the world, so you can compensate for them and react against them. If you continue to view the world through a filter created by past events, then you are allowing your past to control and dictate both your present and your future.
Filters are made up of fixed beliefs, negative ideas that have become entrenched in your thinking. They are dangerous because if you treat them as fact, you will not seek, receive or process new information, which undermines your plans for change. If you "shake up" your belief system by challenging these views and testing their validity, the freshness of your perspective can be startling.
Life Law 7: Life is managed; it is not cured.
Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life and hold on. This is a long ride, and you are the driver every single day.
You are a life manager, and your objective is to actively manage your life in a way that generates high-quality results. You are your own most important resource for making your life work. Success is a moving target that must be tracked and continually pursued.
Effective life management means you need to require more of yourself in your grooming, self-control, emotional management, interaction with others, work performance, dealing with fear, and in every other category you can think of. You must approach this task with the most intense commitment, direction and urgency you can muster.
The key to managing your life is to have a strategy. If you have a clear-cut plan, and the courage, commitment and energy to execute that strategy, you can flourish. If you don't have a plan, you'll be a stepping stone for those who do. You can also help yourself as a life manager if you manage your expectations. If you don't require much of yourself, your life will be of poor quality. If you have unrealistic standards, then you are adding to your difficulties.
Life Law 8: We teach people how to treat us.
Strategy: Own, rather than complain about, how people treat you. Learn to renegotiate your relationships to have what you want.
You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don't. This means you are partly responsible for the mistreatment that you get at the hands of someone else. You shape others' behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot.
If the people in your life treat you in an undesirable way, figure out what you are doing to reinforce, elicit or allow that treatment. Identify the payoffs you may be giving someone in response to any negative behavior. For example, when people are aggressive, bossy or controlling — and then get their way — you have rewarded them for unacceptable behavior.
Because you are accountable, you can declare the relationship "reopened for negotiation" at any time you choose, and for as long as you choose. Even a pattern of relating that is 30 years old can be redefined. Before you reopen the negotiation, you must commit to do so from a position of strength and power, not fear and self-doubt.
Life Law 9: There is power in forgiveness.
Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you. Take your power back from those who have hurt you.
Hate, anger and resentment are destructive, eating away at the heart and soul of the person who carries them. They are absolutely incompatible with your own peace, joy and relaxation. Ugly emotions change who you are and contaminate every relationship you have. They can also take a physical toll on your body, including sleep disturbance, headaches, back spasms, and even heart attacks.
Forgiveness sets you free from the bonds of hatred, anger and resentment. The only way to rise above the negatives of a relationship in which you were hurt is to take the moral high ground, and forgive the person who hurt you.
Forgiveness is not about another person who has transgressed against you; it is about you. Forgiveness is about doing whatever it takes to preserve the power to create your own emotional state. It is a gift to yourself and it frees you. You don't have to have the other person's cooperation, and they do not have to be sorry or admit the error of their ways. Do it for yourself.
Life Law 10: You have to name it before you can claim it.
Strategy: Get clear about what you want and take your turn.
Not knowing what you want — from your major life goals to your day-to-day desires — is not OK. The most you'll ever get is what you ask for. If you don't even know what it is that you want, then you can't even ask for it. You also won't even know if you get there!
By being specific in defining your goal, the choices you make along the way will be more goal-directed. You will recognize which behaviors and choices support your goals — and which do not. You will know when you are heading toward your goal, and when you are off track.
Be bold enough to reach for what will truly fill you up, without being unrealistic. Once you have the strength and resolve enough to believe that you deserve what it is that you want, then and only then will you be bold enough to step up and claim it.
The beauty of all of this is these ten laws once you realize how they work and see how they have been limiting you (not knowing them or being aware of them) will be the answers to just about anything you could come across. You will start to see that any problem you have there is one of these laws being broken. Just like the Ten Commandments you can find a law here to fit any situation and handling the situation so that law isn’t broken will always fix the problem! These laws have brought me prosperity, success, love, incredible success in life and especially allowed me to be myself, live my core of cores, and I no longer roam through life confused. The bottom line is that for me these 10 life laws are essential for Harmony in every way. Disharmony in any way is based on breaking one or more of these laws. I can now point out why people have the problems they do by seeing their behavior and then I can actually see what law they are breaking. I've even read that chapter to my friends who found themselves "lost" or "frustrated" with life, the "why me?" syndrome, and just reading that chapter in the book solved it for them, they stop living like a victim and take the wheel. I often buy my friends the book as a way to help them see life for what it is- amazing!
My Philosophy on Life
(I didn’t author this but this but explains my philosophy)
1. You get a body. You may like your body or hate it but it is the only body you will get for the duration of this life cycle. How you nurture it or how you don't take care of it is up to you, but can make a huge difference in the quality of your life. 2. You will learn many lessons. You are enrolled in a full time college of life. Each and every day you will be presented with opportunities to grow and mature spiritually and to learn what you need to know for this round. The lessons will almost always seem completely different from those you think you need, until you learn them and realize where they fit into your life. 3. Their are no mistakes in life. Their are only lessons and growth. The universe knows what it's doing, and even though you don't consciously realize it, so do you. You will find you learn as much from failure (maybe even more than) as you do from success. 4. A lesson is repeated over and over until you learn from it. A lesson will come back over and over in several different forms until you learn it, integrate the wisdom and grow from it. Even then the lessons will not stop coming. It will not be the lessons that stop it will be your lack of preparation to harmonize with it, or avoid it. Your barometer of this happening will be evident in your change of attitude and behaviors. New lessons will ALWAYS come, many lessons are simultaneous, meaning one doesn’t have to be learned necessarily before the next one begins. Lessons will happen in every stage of your life. As long as you live their will be something to learn. Their are no escapes from this law/rule, although you may feel ending certain problems will happen with money for example, they won't they will only change in their approach, until you learn the lesson. 5. Their is nothing better than "here". When you find yourself "their" and "their" has become "here" their will be another "their" that will again appear better than "here". (this is the old the grass is always greener on someone else’s lawn quote's wisdom). Do not be fooled into thinking the "unattainable" is better than what you have now. The real magic and power is in appreciating what you have, not what you think you need. (Live in the now and exist in the true power). 6. Others are your mirror. You cannot love or hate something you see in another or about another person, unless it reflects back to you something you love or hate in yourself. When you feel tempted to criticize or compliment others, ask yourself why you feel this way. Before you criticize others realize that you’re going to truly be criticizing yourself. Always question what you see, feel, hear (etc..) and why you feel so strongly about it. 7. Life is what you make of it. You were born with all the tools and resources you need. If you remember that desire, goal setting, and undying effort, perseverance, and tact will get you everywhere. Persistence is the key to success. You must persevere no matter what! 8. All the answers you will ever learn are already in you. When you learn externally your not integrating new knowledge or awareness, your simply stimulating the knowledge and awareness inside you. Ask, look, listen and trust and all answers will come. Skip a step and you will be chasing your tale, but the answers will still be there for the taking. 9. You will forget all of this every day. Unless you follow the rules that you've just read constantly and with razor sharp focus, nothing you read here will mean a thing. 10. Go back and read this again. Print it out, post it and read it every day.
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